the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
