I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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