i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize