I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We left the knife in your bed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
