I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
