Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
God, I missed his penis.
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