She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
