you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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