guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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