Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
