O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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