I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
