Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize