Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
