So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can you bring me the toilet please
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
