I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
