I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
