she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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