I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
