His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have fence marks all over my body
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
