I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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