He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
