YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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