Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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