so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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