I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
