No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize