The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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