The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
