That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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