shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
