If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
