i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
