Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize