You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
