YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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