PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
