dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
