im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
