just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
