What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
