32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
