Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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