I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
