There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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