I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
