Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
