I think my vagina is haunted
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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