Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
