yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
