Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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