Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
