just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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