you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
