i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
