The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize