it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
