don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
