Life is so much better after having sex.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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