3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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