I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
