drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
