i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
