Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
