We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
