i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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