I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
