everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
