cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
