He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
