I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just found a bag of teeth...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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