I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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